We’ve all been there.
Staring at the concrete platform as train announcers, like dismal town criers, proclaim delay after delay after delay as you stand there, resigned to gazing at the grey landscape beneath your feet for the foreseeable future.
Next time you’re stuck at a train station, take a second to peer at those around you. Look at their unique clothing, their briefcases or bags for life, the creases around their mouths telling of long-dead laughter.
Then proceed to stare at your shoes again as your phone has finally connected to the station Wi-Fi.
Oh, what a world it would be if we all communicated with our fellow passengers on the station, putting down our phones in an astonishing display of human spirit and community!
Realistically though, we’re too busy.
Busy wondering if the extortionate station coffee is really worth the price of a small car.
Busy thinking about how you wish the platform’s Wi-Fi wasn’t stuck in the stone age.
Busy thinking about if it's socially acceptable to physically hug the train when it finally arrives.
If you’ve had yet to have the pleasure, here is my guide to enjoying a trip on our nation’s railways:
1. Bring a book, unless staring at a concrete wall for three hours as your train has mysteriously vanished, is your cup of tea.
2. Note down all your local stations’ reasons for train delays; they could come in useful if you are ever desperate for an excuse. For example: “I’m so sorry this work assignment was 3 hours late boss, but there was a leaf on my pencil, and I just couldn’t move it faster!” - works every time!
3. When your train finally arrives, please refrain from using the seat in front of you as a footrest for your trainers that just so happen to be dripping in mud.
4. Appreciate that you have no control over the train. The train will arrive when it will and, unsurprisingly, shouting at the station workers will never change this fact.
At the end of the day, perhaps we should all view train delays as small, almost insignificant, frustrations in our madly hectic modern lives.
So, the next time your train is stuck in Australia due to a signalling error or something, take a deep breath. Relax.
And take out a hefty loan to afford that station café flat white.
