FORTY-TWO posts later, what began as the everyday but often bizarre account of life in the self-styled Watercress Capital of the World - pronounced Allsford and alias Cressroads come to mourn the passing of its listed post office to a three-wicket counter tucked away in the far right-hand corner of the Georgian market town’s Co-op supermarket - returns to cyber space in time for the Ides of March.

Teasers on the Facebook network trail the likes of a retired stockman quaffing as much as a firkin a week, equivalent to 72 pints, to launch a lifeboat; a giant, axe-wielding Kiwi come to dwell in Cressroads’ stately Tichborne Park; and gas engineers threatening to knock up pensioners as early as 04:30 hours of a morning on the town’s city-built estate.

More in store is fashioned at what the Beeb dubs ‘blog Central’, the thatched Arms at Tichborne, where the blog’s creative and technical team meets to plot each next instalment in the real-life soap.

“Could say I ‘olds the fort,” smiles retired stockman Henry Primmer, awarded his pint pot by Palmers of Bridport, brewers of his firkins of Copper, who wants the blog to paginate more of its wares: “And design a page-three for folk to ogle my udderly beaut’iful old cows grazing hereabouts.”

Meanwhile, the blog’s pixels-for-pin-ups Agony Aunt Ruby Rangoon, who captures the imagination of Cressroads’ fans as far-flung as Michael-of-Monaco, is ignoring all advice from slighted suitors and planning a secret wedding as soon as May.

“We’ve known each other for as long as the last decade,” confides Ruby, former manager of Avington’s Pinder Centre and about to begin a new career in marketing.

“I oh-so-wondered what became of Ruby these past few months,” septuagenarian newly-wed retired printer Henry Tapper, another in the blog’s cast of hundreds, re-appears out of the woodwork. “But ask me, there is no question about it. Nothing beats marriage. Yolanda from Manila, my young stepdaughter and me are so totally happy with our life together in Hedge End.”

A happy result to Henry’s £250,000-trawl for a wife to call his own that the blog’s stunning Dr Sophiesoothsayer missed reading in her crystal ball.

Psychic Sophie Robertson Smith, who is travelling from her London home to revisit Tichborne with more of her paintings, explains she is most anxious to counsel the ‘Continuing Story of Cressroads charming parter of words and wisdom, before the Ides of March do dawn.'

“Always good to read about Alresford’s dark side,” excites Daily Mirror backbencher Siobhan McNally. – www.blogsbody.com