On Friday, parliament will vote for or against the potentially historical Terminally Ill Adults (End of Life) Bill for England and Wales, which would give people, in certain circumstances, the right to die at a time of their choosing. The following is based on a conversation with Hampshire woman Christina (not her real name), who took her mother to an assisted dying clinic in Switzerland.
THERE was a time when Christina would get upset on those occasions her 77-year-old mother told her she wanted to die.
Speaking over the phone from her home in Swanmore, she says: “I kept saying to her, ‘No, stop being so negative. You live in a beautiful house. You don't have any worries. You've got me next door. You've got your grandchildren who adore you. You've got all of your friends who love you. That should be enough.”
But when her mother’s health deteriorated to the point where she could no longer feed herself, Christina came to a stark realisation.
READ MORE: Letter: Support for the assisted dying bill
“That was when I agreed to help her,” she says. “Because I could see that I was hanging on to her for me.”
Explaining this most agonising of choices, Christina adds: “I was going to lose her whatever happened, but I could spare her more suffering, and she hated her life. Every night when I used to go and say goodnight to her, she'd say, ‘I hope I don't wake up tomorrow morning’.”
From that moment on, Christina says, what had been a grinding uphill struggle became easier – even, in her own words, “beautiful”.
It was easy, she explains, to organise a trip to Switzerland via Pegasos, a Basel-based company which specialises in assisted dying. The cost was 10,000 Swiss francs (around £9,000) all in; less than the price of a large funeral in England.
“We arrived [in Basel] on a Monday evening, and on the Tuesday we had a lovely day in this very pretty Swiss town [outside the city],” says Christina, recounting the trip. “And then a doctor came and met us in the afternoon and talked with my mum through everything that was going to happen, checking that she was absolutely happy. We went early the next morning to this little area on the edge of a very sweet little wooded pathway and a rushing brook.
“It was wonderful. She was so happy to go. And it was very beautiful, calm, peaceful and on her terms; in her control. And you just think everyone should have the right to do that without feeling scared of being arrested or scared of being prosecuted or having to go all the way to Switzerland.”
SEE ALSO: Assisted dying bill debate and vote to take place this week
After her experience with her mother, Christina's views on Friday’s vote are clear: “The law has to change. It has to stop being hijacked by people who don't understand. There isn't enough of a conversation from the side of experience.”
So what would she reply to those who argue against the legalisation of assisted dying?
“I would say: ‘Have you ever had a dog? Did you leave it to suffer, or did you choose to put it to sleep so it didn't have to?’"
She adds: “I can only assume it is ignorance that would stop anyone wanting to support this bill.”
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