A CHARITY is urging people to talk about death in order to help come to terms with their loss.  

Winchester Bereavement Support is a free-of-charge voluntary organisation that supports people in the city and surrounding areas with their grief.

Ann Jones, 73, from Kings Worthy, is a bereavement visitor. She took up the role after retiring from nursing after 45 years.

She spoke out about her role and the charity in order to promote its good work ahead of National Grief Awareness Week, which runs December 2 to 8. 

Ann said: “I wanted to continue supporting grieving families and friends that need so much help.

“WBS gave me the opportunity and I’m so glad they did, a positive, caring professional charity that goes the extra mile.”

The service was established in 1982 and has been growing ever since and currently has 42 volunteers. 

Winchester Bereavement Support Winchester Bereavement Support (Image: WBS) Ann said: "The current team has contributed 277 years of combined service. As soon as I mention I’m a member of the bereavement team, there is an instant element of trust.”

Ann had struggled with bereavement herself, finding it tough when her mother died six years ago in difficult circumstances. She now uses her personal experience to help others. 

She said: “I provide informal individual 1-1 sessions and hospice group sessions, providing a safe, welcoming and supportive place for people who have been bereaved to share their experiences of grief. Bereavement volunteers help people who are grieving in many ways, including emotional support, we provide a safe space to talk about feelings and how someone is coping.

“We help develop coping strategies, using skills to help people understand and develop strategies to cope. We also signpost to other services and support services that may be available.”

Ann said that it can be difficult but that talking really does help.  

“People can be so closed about expressing things,” she said. “It’s often easier to talk about the death of a loved one with someone who can be objective and not related to the deceased or you. 

“When I visit or call a bereaved person it often helps that we don’t know each other, there is no fear of being judged, no subconscious worry on their part about what can be discussed." 

Helping others with their grief can take a toll on your own emotions. Ann said that when she leaves the grieving person she sits in her car for a few minutes to let the session evaporate. However she encourages anybody who can, to help volunteer.

She said: “WBS are a wonderful support to each other. Every bereavement visitor has comprehensive initial training no matter of previous work or personal experiences.”

She also said she takes great pride in helping people move through the stages of grief. 

She said: “A lady whose husband had died suddenly at work was so shocked and she was afraid for the future. Over time she blossomed from a worried, anxious person to a capable free spirit, who returned to work and is now an active person in her community.

“It is important to understand that grief is not a single emotion; it’s an experience or state of being that affects you physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

“It is unique to each person and experiences can vary considerably from one person to another. If there is one guarantee in life that’s absolute, it’s death. We are all going to die. However, many never give this a second thought until it happens to someone, we are close to.

“That’s why it’s so important that we talk about death and drop the old stiff-upper-lip attitude,” she said. “Grief is the visitor that never leaves.”

For more information; go to wbs.org.uk/

  • This article was written by Alexandra Stapleton from the University of Winchester