Quakers Winchester: A day in the life of a Meeting House warden

The Children's Room looks great, I love the Young Quakers' latest artworks.

I bump into a tenant leaving for work. 'Morning!' ‘Morning!' Neither of us are early birds.

Fridge... We'll need more milk for the Quaker event tomorrow. Note to self: stock up.

Emails... Newsletter submissions, Homelessness Forum updates, and a roof survey quote. Note to self: call the Treasurer. There are thank-you messages, too – a reminder there are no thankless tasks here. The newsletter submissions align with Quaker values, so I add them to the draft.

Voicemails... about tenant support, lost property, and the archives. I address them without the landline, because it's still early, and I'm a millennial.

I check the calendar. Our MP is visiting today. That's not usual, but it's happening.

Enter my husband, Alex. His (default) furrowed brow says he's glad to see me. We head out for brunch.

I return with milk and biscuits - tick. A nervous-looking man waiting outside tells me he is early for his first counselling session. I invite him to explore the garden and pour him a glass of water.

I sort the squeaky gate - tick. I find myself deadheading the Peace rose and giggling at the irony.

Time to call the Treasurer - tick. Pat and David from the Social Witness Housing Project arrive, our MP just behind. We discuss ways we can support people struggling with homelessness and mental health, over a pot of tea.

Finally entering night owl mode, I welcome the last group of hirers. I can tell they feel at home. A hirer once made a parallel between their group – Alcoholics Anonymous – and the Quakers: "[They're all] about offering fellowship and support to people in need."

It's been a long but productive day. As I lock up, I feel a deep sense of gratitude for my job, my community, and my incredibly short commute.

Floating the Meeting House Boat

The cost of managing the Meeting House is met largely by charges to its hirers, which include therapists, counsellors, and self-help groups. All hirers are sympathetic to Quaker principles and approaches.

Vicky Darling was warden from 1994 to 2014 and, for a while, an editor of the local Quaker newsletter, The Colebrook Courier. In October 2003.

She wrote: “Andrew Rutter’s drawing shows us on a lurching ship while we go about our business on board, gardening, cycling to the shops, all the everyday things.

"I like this analogy, as although we are going through calm waters at the moment, there have been times in the last few years when there were rough seas to negotiate.

"The new pamphlet about the history of the house describes how it was built nearly 250 years ago and brings home to us how significant a landmark in Winchester it has always been. Now, as a Quaker Meeting House, it remains ‘a still centre in a turning world."

Floating meeting house (Image: Quakers)

Quaker groups

Winchester Quakers are probably most visible in the city when conducting a vigil or action, usually at the Buttercross, but they also participate in many other activities at the Meeting House.

Local Quaker Evelyn said: “There’s a lot going on, I belong to a Peace and Justice Group, a book group, a later years group, but there are others as well. There’s a gardening group there’s a healing group, poetry group and a young people’s group; all this stuff is going on. It makes for a lively meeting.”

The one thing that brings Winchester Quakers all together is the silent meeting for worship which happens on Sunday at 9am and 10.30am for an hour, and Wednesday at 12.30pm for 30 minutes. Two meetings are needed on Sunday because the room can only hold 30 people at any one time. On the first Sunday of each month, Winchester Quakers meet all together at 10am, in person and online.

Quaker meeting (Image: Quakers)

What have the Quakers ever done for us?

You may be surprised to learn that Quakers were involved in setting up the renowned charities Oxfam, Greenpeace and Amnesty International.

It is perhaps better known that they played a leading role in the abolition of slavery in the 18th and 19th centuries, ran the Friends Ambulance Unit for wounded soldiers and civilians in the 20th century, and organised the evacuation of persecuted adults and children from Nazi Germany.

Winchester Quakers support the local community with their housing project, to help people at risk of homelessness – referred by the city council, and they provide lovely quiet rooms for therapists, counsellors, and self-help groups to hire.

Did you know that Winchester Quakers set up Friends of the Family, 30 years ago, a charity which is still based at the Friends Meeting House on Colebrook Street and supported by the local Quaker community?       

Meeting (Image: Quakers) Friends of the Family works with families who are experiencing difficult life circumstances, in the Winchester area. They offer a range of support services and friendly guidance, to overcome challenges and turn their lives around. Their unique support is delivered through four areas of work:

Mums and Young Children
A weekly support group, offering mums a safe space to express, reflect upon and address their needs, whilst their children are cared for by a trained playleader and volunteers. The mums’ group session is confidential and facilitated by a fully trained Psychotherapeutic Counsellor.

5s to 13s Befriending
One-to-one support from a trained volunteer befriender who offers a listening ear, provides non-judgmental advice when asked, involves their child in fun activities, works to improve self-confidence, and encourages families to seek their own solutions to problems.

Support for Dads
One-to-one counselling for dads who are facing difficulties within the home. The service is run by a fully qualified male counsellor and provides a safe, relaxed environment in which dads can work through personal issues and address concerns around family and fatherhood.

One-to-one Counselling
This is for mums and dads already involved with Friends of the Family, who are not receiving therapy/counselling from a statutory agency. Benefits include: addressing issues of anxiety, depression, loss, grief, low self-esteem, lack of assertiveness, insecurity, relationship breakdown, and parenting anxiety.

Friends of the Family depends on and is hugely grateful for the generosity of their volunteers who give their time, energy and compassion to support families and children. They currently have a waiting list of families needing support. If you could give the gift of time and would like to know more about volunteering, please email volunteer@fotfwinchester.org